A youth support worker shares how she's helping youth in crisis.
Sadly, many of our youth are in crisis - a mental health crisis.
My guest today, Louise Rellis, is a Youth Support Worker and Traumatologist who created Anam Rural Youth Association and Mt. Leinster Consulting to support rural youth in central Alberta. Her core focus is 1:1 interactions with youth aged 13 - 25 who are struggling with mental health, parent conflict, high-conflict divorce, bullying, uttering threats, inappropriate use of social media, self-harm and suicidal ideation. She currently serves 300 clients in 29 communities as a safety net, not as a therapist, but especially to help high-risk kids who won't seek other help.
For more information or to initiate a referral, you can find Louise online @ anamruralyouth.com
Phone: 403.318.7690
Email: louise@anamruralyouth.com
Facebook: anamruralyouth
Instagram: anamruralyouth
LinkedIn: Louise Rellis
Watch the video of this interview on our YouTube Channel
Louise Rellis 0:00
Hey, this is Louise Rellis, and you're listening to divorce magazine Canada podcast.
Deena Kordt 0:07
Hey, are you or someone you care about considering dealing with, or been through a divorce or separation? Well, you're in the right place. You don't have to do this alone. There are people who care and want to help. Hi, I'm Deena court, and author, blogger, publisher, and empowerment coach. Thanks for joining me on the divorce magazine Canada podcast, you are going to hear from our team of experts and professionals how to navigate this difficult transition in your life easier, more efficiently, and with better outcomes. Did you know we host online divorce resource groups that are free to attend, and everyone is welcome. Check out the links in our show notes. And be sure and join us. We love bringing experts to you, please refer to our terms of service available on our website, divorce magazine canada.com. And stay tuned at the end for the legal language. Ready? Here we go. Sadly, many of our youth are in crisis. And we're not sure how to help them how to support them, and how to even get them to a professional who can help them out. And I am so pleased to know that some incredible people are out there like my guest today, Louise RELLIS, she is in just amazing. I can't, I can't say enough about how comforting it is to know how encouraging it is to know that someone like her is out in the world and supporting our youth. And her focus as a youth support worker as a traumatologist is for is focused one on one with these youth and she works in rural central Alberta. And she is just there for the kids. She literally is there she goes to them wherever they might be, and supports them. So you're gonna hear all about her work in our visit today. And I just really encourage you to find a way to support this type of work. And we really do need this in, in more areas in our communities. So buckle up, this is an incredible ride. And you are going to really see into the life of the work of what Louisa is doing for our youth. And yeah, you're gonna love her. Here we go. Hi, Louise, I am really happy to have you here today. I'm so excited to introduce you to my audience, because what you do is unique. And I think it's needed far more than we realize. And I'm looking forward to learning more about what you do, who you serve, and how you're helping families through some really difficult situations. And yeah, please tell us more about yourself. Welcome.
Speaker 1 3:18
Thank you very much, Tina, thank you for having me here today. I really do appreciate it. I'm telling you about myself always sets me into fight flight for I want to run to talk about myself but at the same time it's like, okay, this is very, very so myself is on unroll youth I create, I started on a rural youth. And we're going into our third year at the moment and mobile mental health support for youth and young adults in rural central Alberta, in the rural communities of central Alberta. So youth aged 13 up to young adults about approximately the age of 25 Honorable youth was created through a increasing frustration I was having in my previous role where I worked at the time in the world of trauma, the amount of youth who are struggling with their mental health who should be seeing a counselor or a therapist, but wouldn't sometimes because of generational trauma sometimes they just wouldn't just because it was a counselor or a therapist or they wouldn't because that office traditional office setting was just not for them. And in my role I repeatedly had these kinds of young adults come back to me I respect my position and try to guide them in direction where the support was for them. And in seeing this need increase on with my background I left Ireland my diploma twice psychology I have studied CUNY hand workplace traumatology Am I have created another company mount Lancer consulting to consult more families with kids experiencing trauma, which is just a new initiative now after have been an honor for two years seen what I thought was a big enough gap the services be absolutely astronomical more than we actually thought it could ever be. And so autumns intention is on him as Irish as I am Irish, I should have in case nobody realized by my accent, they're definitely not from the East Coast. I'm further afield. I am Irish. And I have felt in my soul that I am here to help kids who feel there's nobody here for them. So autumn is actually the Irish word for solo acts I wanted that kind of incorporated in it. And so I felt in my soul that I either need to do something about it or quit complaining. So I did something about it formed this nonprofit organization with a board we're registered society in short, all of that, and helping kids struggling with their mental health, parent conflict, high conflict, divorce, bullying, ordering threats, and the inappropriate use of social media, which encompasses a lot with they were they were the general of what we were seeing. It has bred self harm, suicidal ideation, and that as well. Autumn exploded into much more than I envisioned it would be in its first two years of operation. And we are at the end of two years, I believe off the top of my head, we had to know we were closer to 300 clients. And we are in 29 communities in central Alberta. So our head office is based in black falls, but we traveled to Rocky Mountain House and I say we may talk about in the house camera so Tasco in steckler, Forsberg, carnation, Drumheller, is actually just a matter of this morning and Airdrie sort Warburg a large area of central Alberta, we focus on the high risk at risk vulnerable kids in rural communities. And we don't say no to kids that we have referred to us from urban centers, who recognize the referral agency sees a need of of matching that use to our services. So we don't say no, we do try to get them connected to those services that are more local to them. But sometimes there's been, for whatever reason, doesn't work out. And so on them is a mobile service, we traveled to our clients, I meet them where they're at, I picked them up from home, I can pick them up from school, I can meet them in school. When I meet with my clients, it is formal and informal, I should say and casual. I am not a counselor or a therapist, I make it clear to my clients in sort of families and referring agencies that I'm not a counselor or a therapist, I study try psychology, I worked in early years brain development, I worked in trauma. And I have so many traumatology I've upgraded and so many certificates, I very much believe in a work integrated approach to learning. And so I explained to my families that it's a safety net for kids who should be seeing a counselor or a therapist, for whatever reason aren't can't won't. And that we're that safety net that they have somebody we provide a trauma informed crisis intervention, psychological first aid approach, and to superb support service. And what that kind of means is, we look at supporting the our clients through the development of the brain impacts of trauma and it experiences helping them understand the why behind their behaviors, their struggles, their emotions, and helping them understand if generational trauma is helping them understand that their parents capacity is maybe not where they need it to be. But that does not mean the parents love them less, and of really kind of helping them work from the inside out. And planting the seeds of character strength, resilience, self regulation.
Speaker 1 8:52
Similar to kind of psychotherapy is very conversational, and but we do bring them for something to eat, or I bring food in if I'm meeting them in school, and I incorporate the food because with the chewing motion of the jaw helps you self regulate, as you decompress how pusa can help you self regulate to have those conversations is that age old breaking bread with neighbors, both shoulders involved, we are a lot more relaxed and at ease and more comfortable. And it helps these youth with that informal casual, they don't feel like it's a service. It's not for them. They feel like this informal casual, it's our higher risk clients. I have to say it it has been a huge benefit. We have clients who would not see anybody else and are now seeing us. And it's never our intention to be the single provider for any family, any youth or young adult. But at least if they have one, at least if they have one. We were their safety net we can build up their ability to be uncomfortable to go into a psychologist or therapist and it should they need that um And for some, it's just going to them, they don't have the transportation to be able to hold services. So for us, we're very much telling them, Hey, we're fitting into your box, we're not asking you to fit into our box, what do you need? What day? Do you need it? What time do you need it, we're very flexible in that too, in that we give them days and times it's available, they pick that what works, what works for them. And literally all they have to do is make sure they're either at home or at school, or wherever the pre planned address them picking them up from is where they are, alleviate that stress for parents to who are often coming home from work, and just dragging themselves through the day, and do not want to even fathom having to go back out the door again, for any appointments, I know for me, I'm a mom with I have four kids. And sometimes when I get home, when I when I open the door, and I hear what I'm walking into, I do want to turn around and walk back out myself. But I do know that I very much when I get in my door, I do not want to go back out and I try to even my own personal appointments with the kids, I tried to get that done during the day. So we don't have that home. And that went home and out because the sports that my kids playing at doesn't off home and out and home and out and in wrangling the four of them and that so on him was very much and took me a year before he opened it before I got feet going. Because it was one of those will it be needed just because I think it's needed does it actually mean it's needed. And just because I'm seeing it in the community of blackfalds is where the start to from. And is like worse because I was thinking of assessed value in this community, it must be worse in more rural communities. And so I did have that back and forth fear of at the end of the day, I just kind of went Louise This is not about you. This is the kids. And this is what I was here for to do is to help these kids understand themselves, their psychological first aid lens approach, helping them realize for their struggles are coming from and and that did grow into just this past couple of months, I formed mount Lancer consulting, which is a more trauma consulting and traumatology role in the sense that I truly believe through collaborations with like minded organizations, who are in the position, through their passion are passionate about building up these youth and youth and young adults in rural communities to be successful. By working together, learning from each other, sharing our knowledge, sharing the struggles sharing what we are seeing that we can really kind of set these kids up for success better and stronger foundation. And so the consulting firm I created because autumns sole intention is one on one focuses youth one on one, I should say our core principles trauma informed, our core focuses our youth, we are one on one with youth, we don't do programming, we don't do group sessions, it is one on one with these kids, it is working and it has been successful for them and I do not want to jeopardize that foundation, I do not want to change the core of Onnum. But I also see so much more as needed in these rural communities. So among Leinster consulting, was to try and pick up those things that I was putting on the side of autumns desk, and ensuring that they got her legs and can really encourage and strengthen rural communities and build that community awareness.
Deena Kordt 13:39
Louise first, and I've said this to you before, like tourist spots. A, you're an angel. And B, we need more of you. And your response was tell my husband actually, are you recording this? I gonna send it to him when we get done? Yeah, yeah, we we do we need more of you this. I want to unpack this some more because there's just there's so much value in in what you have already shared about the need that you've seen, and how you're trying to address that need and fill that and I think the first thing that came to mind is something you said near the end here was about the one on one with the youth that is missing in, in, in their lives everywhere in their lives. They go to the classroom, they're a part of a group, they're in their home, they're probably just one of how many members in the House, their sports are on a team everything they're involved in their friend groups. They have you know group chats or you know, their their whole snap streams and whatever and so where are they in individual where are they seen and and various and have really seen and heard and feel safe one on one, I think it's just a, it's such a, an incredible space that you're creating for them. And the fact that you will come to them, you make your very accessible to, to the kids that need that. And like you said, even the ones that are in urban areas where they might have a little easier access, you aren't turning them away, you are also trying to facilitate them getting the care that they need. Absolutely love that. So it's mobile, rural, and that safety net, you know, that's that space that is just lacking. And as much as the whole pandemic isolated people, and, you know, they weren't maybe out of their homes, but they that isolation. It wasn't a safety net, necessarily, for many kids that that escalated the difficulties and the trauma that they were experiencing. And now they also were losing contact socially, with who maybe they'd felt comfortable with before, whether it was a boyfriend or close friends, they were not allowed to see them. So is that something that you experienced was that you notice maybe things escalated during that whole pandemic and the isolation?
Speaker 1 16:24
I think, and even in some case conferencing with some of the schools to on having a similar kind of conversation, because I very much believe in learning from each other, too. And trying to see what I don't see, like, figure out what I don't know, and ask the questions to that, I think and what I've seen, and what I've heard with the school administrations is COVID really just took the lid off the boiling pot. And I have to agree in that too. Because autumn, my, what I was seeing the need for and with these kids in our communities, I was seeing that before COVID ever hit. And I created on them right before COVID did actually hit on him, opened its doors in April of 2021. But I was registered in January 2021. But I didn't kind of open my doors and surfaces because I had I gave notice to my previous role and that and then I kind of wanted to decompress from one position and kind of get myself set up before I went into on him. So it was April 21, we kind of opened the doors, but January 21, when it was incorporated. And that's kind of when COVID hit
Unknown Speaker 17:40
I believe or maybe I'm a year behind myself, a few years there to blend together. But I do know that we all
Deena Kordt 17:46
lost time in that space.
Speaker 1 17:49
I know we're in that blur diadem either. But the intention of honor was there before COVID. There were issues that I was seeing well before COVID. And it was the higher risk kids that really should be going to a counselor, a therapist, but won't. And they were just being left behind. They don't see for the majority of them to they don't see that school counselor as well. Because you're right as in, they're always in that group setting. And our body is kind of wired to protect ourselves from vulnerability, we don't like to open ourselves up to being vulnerable. And we as adults don't like it and work these kids definitely don't as they're still their brains are not fully developed. And that's conversations I have with the kids too, and helping them understand the brain is not fully developed between the ages of 25 to 32. So as much as they think they know what all is a teenager, they physically can't they have a great grasp of things because the largest rapid growth of multitrack recorder brain development is the first five years of life and then the next rapid goes through adolescence. So this is where we see a lot of the traumas, early childhood traumas and things comes out and behaviors and emotions as an adolescent because that's on the brain, the brain is sort of rapid growing again and everything is sort of tornado inside and and if we don't if they haven't been shown the right coping mechanisms to deal with some of the traumas or grief and experiences they've had, it comes out in negative behaviors as a teenager, an outward action to an inward hurts and pain. It's really what these kids are, what they're showing the world are trying to protect from themselves from the hurts and pain they have inside. So COVID definitely increased. The lack of opportunity for kids to release some of that vulnerable because at home to home wasn't always the safest place for all kids. But home I think is where a lot of us are at are grumpiest, we're at our worst when we're at home because we all come up say to the kid tantrums the baby. The toddler tantrums is what I'm looking for. Toddlers have their tantrums. Kids come home from school and have their tantrums because they've held it so well together. Outside they've had a so well together in school that they come home I'm going to release the frustrations that they've been pent up all day. offices, adults want to do that two to three times, I'm like, I've said it to my own kids, I'm like, I want to have to talk to a tantrum. I'm drained myself, and I come in the door. And then the kids and each one of them wants to tell you about the day and each one of them is giving out but the other person, they're telling tales, and they're, you know, there's always something. So when you have that all day, every day, and you don't give yourself that ability to decompress that ability to have conversations because we all react, not we all but a lot of us can relate to situations where we might get more frustrated or aggravated with our kids. And we wish we would have had what we kissed coming back and having the conversations coming back and saying to them, we're all in this house every day, all day, we're all trying to find a space to do the schoolwork, to do our my work to do the housework to do even our own space. So it's it definitely created issues for families who maybe did not have that communication ability, and very much kind of when they're home, they shut down. And everybody sort of not everybody, but those who do kind of shut down, internalize a lot of their stresses. That vulnerability, that ability to be vulnerable, was not there. Because kids were seeing their parents stress too, and didn't want to add to that stress. They're keeping their own kind of struggles inside because they didn't want to make mom or dad more stress than they already were, in some situations. And it's one is definitely not a hard and fast rule. It's not one size fits all. It's very unique. And our one on one. Or focus of that, too, is each we have multiple kids with similar lived experiences similar traumatic experience such different coping mechanisms to deal with that so many different emotional reactions. Because we each have different intimate relationships and intimate experiences, and how they things make them feel. So the one on one as well helps us how can I help you? How what do you want to share with me now that there's no group setting, there's no five or six other people sitting around where you're afraid of saying the wrong thing, or you're afraid of, you're the only one with this problem. So you can say anything, because you're gonna be stupid if you say it out loud, because nobody else in the world has this problem that you so that one on one piece gives them that opportunity to voice. And for some, they didn't have that for the longest time. At home, too. It's when kids are in school, they have their friends around the event, they can get things off their chest, and but when they've been home all of the time, they don't have that access. And then it becomes a social media becomes that keyboard online. And falling into maybe saying things online that you would not say to somebody in person, because you don't have that empathy, compassion, you don't have the body language tone, you're not kind of having that emotional connection or intimate connection as you would face to face. So it definitely did aggravate quite a few areas. But the the issues were definitely coming to boiling point before COVID. And I think COVID In some senses really kind of helped shine a light on the areas that were missing supports because rural communities have been missed for years and years and years. It's the urban centers that have get the funding, it's the urban centers, they get the resources and the rural community members for years have been expected to travel to the urban center. And so a lot more with Zoom online. And we're you can have resources in your home. But for a lot of these kids to have mental health, that sitting down on a screen was not for them either worked for some did not work for at all. So it's like we say it's we're there for the ones who feel there's nobody else has been there for them or they haven't been able to find the right fit. And we tried to be there a safety net.
Deena Kordt 23:59
Yeah, and for some, I mean, this is all ages, that Zoom or the virtual meeting for some people that feels less vulnerable. And for others they want they want that more intimate, more close personal connection. Louise, could you define high risk for us please, you've mentioned that a couple of times.
Speaker 1 24:23
So higher risk is for my clients who are high risk as who have had multiple suicidal ideation and attempts and homelessness risk of homelessness or couchsurfing. And it is really those who will not see another service either and have been to the extreme of substance abuse and maybe self harm. And I shouldn't say to the extreme, extreme, but definitely those who have tried to analyze themselves and feel that there is nobody for them. Those who were present to fight at a young age and even emancipating themselves from their parents younger than 16, higher risk to I have a word, Sam, they've entered into the sex trade where they've been sexually exploited, again at a very young age. And it is those high risk clients that we have that are I think, we support our clients that we that we get in here, we have great feedback from our clients, we recognize we're not for everybody. And I say that to my clients, too. I know, I'm not for everybody. And if I'm not for you, please like, let me know and give me the opportunity to find the right person for you. And I use the analogy of a hairdresser, if you will, to a hairdresser. And you really do not like what the teacher hair, chances are you don't go back to that hairdresser. But you will find a different hairdresser. So I use that example to them too. But the high risk is we seem to be having or I seem to be having great success with with those. It's where they are coming back to me, where I'm having other psychologists and counselors connect with me to say that this person will not see anybody else with me. And I think that speaks volumes to where they're at in their life that they've gotten to that point. And they're exactly who we're here for. It's those ones who got to the point of thinking, there's nobody for them, and very much in some cases literally saving some of their lives and literally have their there is definitely one for sure that I know, if I hadn't brought them to emerge, they probably will not be here today. And that same youth will not see anybody else. So it's it is hard, high risk is one of those ones where it's hard to define because what can we risk really high risk behavior for one person somebody has codeine that well, that's not too bad, because all you've done worse, in a sense. It's one of those ones where, yes, we can capture the high risk. But there are some people who don't see themselves in the high risk category. Because what they have done to survive has been so much worse than what is usually the narrative that's given for higher risk. So for us, it's, it's that on a living risk of of the suicidal ideation, the couchsurfing homelessness, and we have youth who in to actually have a roof over their head and being sex trafficked. So it's, it's because for some people it's been, I suppose, it gets a bit too technical, in the sense of somebody trying to analyze themselves is definitely high risk, but where there is some struggles and some thinking, what if they choose to go into the sex trade to end up having a bed? Well, then they're not high risk? Because that's their choice, which is a whole other conversation. What other well, that's not trauma informed. All other sometimes a shocking the conversation I do have with support servicing organizations. And so it is a broad term, but definitely one of those ones that when we get these high risk kids, we they're our priority. And I don't reschedule a client's unless absolutely necessary, if I have a person family appointment, come up this outside of my control, or if I have a crisis call out if I have a client that's in crisis, or we have been asked to support in the high risk threat assessment in a school. So things like that is outside of my control, I reschedule clients, but otherwise I don't, unless there's a high risk of I have one of my high risk flagged high risk that reach out and say, Hey, do you have anything over the next couple of days? I make? If I can make that day work I make that day work? If not, it might be the next day. But I have that conversation with them to let them know we're not an emergency service. If it's risk of life or harm or that it's 911 Am I let them know that I can't guarantee if they text so they get back to them not on my phone and we clients try not to be honest than to when it's like certain things with my kids or whatever which I do fear that to be asked them mommy's always on her phone. Sometimes Sue I am honored to just scroll and decompress. Like I just kind of need to have that decompression myself and that mindless scrolling, but I make it clear to the clients that like we are here it was flexible, informal casual. If you um because we are trauma informed is our core focus core principle. We recognize these kids have been through a lot in their lives to get to the point of needing to see us and you can schedule adverse behaviors you can schedule your triggers and So if they if something happens in between appointments when we're supposed to meet are really encouraged them message me, shoot me a message I might not be on I tell them I might not be able to see you that day, but I will definitely see you as soon as I can, which I do, I make it clear to them to when we are scheduled if we have appointments scheduled, because we do have an appointment confirmation policy, we asked for a minimum of 12 hours prior to the appointment of confirmation received, we send the text message day before confirming. And so I do have that confirmation policy that comes into place. But I as I say to the kids and to their parents to make sure that the parents truly understand if we are scheduled today. And this is where I am a hypocrite, if we are scheduled to meet today will say at three o'clock and I text you yesterday and say hey, just confirming tomorrow three o'clock and works. And you say yes, if today happens and I say to the kids is that if shit hits the fan and you cannot like the mere thoughts of hearing my voice is enough to push you over the edge. Schumi tax, let me know today is not happening like I will reschedule when I can. That is never a problem. And we will give you the next days and times that we have available there is no one at the bottom of the list there is no tree strikes are gone. There's no There's there's no ramifications or consequences we recognize and that you cannot schedule your triggers adverse reactions, we do let them know this not to get out of jail free card, if you're lazy after school or whatever from if you're going to work, that does not count. But we also say I also say to them to you, I'm trusting you to listen to your body, you know yourself best, you know whether you are escalated, and the mere thoughts are with meeting with me will make matters worse, or whether you will be escalated, but maybe I can help you process it, I can help you understand it in the moment, because I let them know to sometimes to having me help them in the moment is kind of where we make the a lot of ground work as well. So that's been very successful for some clients and the feedback, especially our high risk, or high risk clients that have said to us that that that's one of the things they love about other than obviously meeting with me as well, I think which is more of my accent they love when they meet with me. For them. One of the things they really do appreciate too is they know there's no judgement. They know if they need to cancel that it's totally okay. And we make that clear. I mean, I tell them to I train, I'm not on my phone when I'm driving to my clients, but I keep an eye. If a text me and I even check my phone on a park, it's either their door to make sure that they haven't cancelled while I have been on Route. Because again, they've been through a lot in their lives. I am here to help them on their terms. I'm not here to make them fit into my box, because as I said, I explained to them, how they're feeling in those moments inadvertently attach that feeling to me, and partly blame me for how they're feeling. And which will jeopardize any conversation I tried to have with them or the support I tried to have with them that day and could could potentially jeopardize the relationship and connection that's been built. So I do strongly make sure that they understand it's okay. If you need to reschedule. You've told me we want to meet, it's okay. We will reschedule. I'm trusting them. That it is in those heightened states that they do need to reschedule and I have to say for the most part, it is the high risk clients do not